Cheese with my whine?
So, I began this writer’s journey in earnest a little over seven months ago. I’m not counting any previous false starts (they never lasted long before) or tangential experiences (we’re talking stringing sentences together, but more interactive and emergent stuff or related non-fiction). What I mean is a serious focus on craft and honest attempts to tell a story from beginning through the middle to the end and come up with something that appeals to others.
DH lends help and support, when I ask. The Divas are simply amazing. Their tolerance for dumb queries and unconditional backing is unbelievable. Jodi manages to ask all the right questions or drop little bombshells of wisdom to make me think about what I’m doing. MamaDivine certainly learned from her! Bria and CC are enthusiastic cheerleaders.
So, what’s my problem?
Why am I still spinning my wheels and going in circles? Is it a lack of “pre-writing” and not knowing my characters enough to deal with their reactions to situations? I suspect the issue remains in my actual plots and structure. The hardest thing for me to do is step back and puzzle out the big picture for my own writing. Gathering the characters I want to throw together and stockpiling rocks to chuck at them seems easier. Often, I can visualize the closing scene/image.
Now, I’m probably whining, but I’m frustrated. I may have made too few attempts to speak with any authority, but I find everything falls apart when I try to go from point A to B and then head for C. My conflicts and dilemmas never seem to be sufficient or the details refuse to come together so things float around in limbo.
Several different approaches caught my eye or were suggested: Snowflake method, Emotional Structure, Hero’s Journey, and even breaking individual scenes down into notes for Meeting, Purpose, Encounter, Final Action, and Sequel/Aftermath. Each one taught me something about this process, but I’m still not satisfied with the results.
Analytical and highly focused on theory are now attached to my name. I think people are using nicer words than “anal” and “perfectionist”. Complements (and thanks to those who have made them!) must compete with the voices in my head, which are louder and more critical. I realized this would be a problem when I started, but it’s just another thing I wanted to learn about and overcome.
The Romance Divas are doing a free read promotion for Valentine’s Day. I’ve tried not to think about it much, but I may try to come up with something in the next two weeks. That’s scary! What am I thinking? Maybe, I should try a new spin on a familiar story so the plot and framework are a given. I don’t know.
We’ll see.
——
Wow, I think I just realized what the problem is. I’ve been editing. Too much critical thinking and not enough brainstorming and/or just writing. I’ve been skimping on my journal entries lately too. Not a good thing. Need to keep the words flowing, despite my cranky, persnickety, internal editor.
UPDATE: MJ’s written an awesome post on the subject of internal editors. Go read it!
Writing is cathartic. Answers seem to magically come to us, but really we knew them all along.
I think I live the same existence, always wondering why a great idea gets started, but not finished. Sometimes I think my problem is that I’m too close to the characters. I know how it ends, so I’m impatient with the time it takes for me to articulate the story. I feel for you. Writing is never as easy as some people would have you believe! Damn, but it’s worthwhile though!
Very true, Topaz! I do a lot of thinking out loud here to figure things out.
Winter: I’ve got lots of false starts on my harddrive. Most from when I was just writing by the seat of my pants. I’ve figured out I much more of a plotter than a pantser though. I need a roadmap with story markers to guide my way. I try to keep them vague, so I don’t feel like I’m writing twice, and it’s seemed to help.
My internal editor gets in the way big time. Left to my own devices, I’d sit and edit the first 20 pages of anything to death rather than figure out where it should be going next. 🙂
It’s definitely been worth it and it’s much harder than it looks! I still think I can do it, but I know it’s going to take a lot more practice until I’m happy with my results. Stick with it!
hi Kaige
I feel your pain! I too have been stuck in my writing and can’t seem to get out of my current hole of not having a conflict. Do I plow through it, hoping the writing process will clear the way and I’ll stumble upon something plausible and worthwhile? Or do I continue to stare at the blank page in my mind and only whine instead of write? I look forward to hearing more about your journey so maybe find a way to take a few steps in mine. Good luck and thanks for all your support over at the Purple Hearts!
-Meg
yeah–people say the more you know, the less you write. Because everything just sounds stupid, or isn’t good enough–or maybe it’s just fear. Plain black funk. It’s not so much internal editor, although that has a lot to do with it. It’s being seen as less, as letting people know, yeah–well, maybe this isn’t great.
Yet.
It’s why the more sucessful people I know don’t have serious cps. Or beta readers until they’re done. Or close to done. You have to let yourself write garbage, acknowledge, yeah–well it it, but the only one with access to my computer is me. And go through at least a clean and layer before you can let your baby out.
Your emotional structure diagrams were great. I enjoyed them.
If you can, brainstorm “with” someone, with each of you contributing to a “short story framework”, something easily done in a handful of pages, maybe twenty. And set a timeline, maybe five pages in five days, and trade. The deadline will set you free. At the end of a few weeks you should have a nice sized saleable story and be one step closer to internalizing all the stuff you need to run–y’know, like updaters? in the background while you do a longer piece.
Don’t forget our mantra: this is your first manuscript, this is your first manuscript (not sure what I’ll say in April when I start #2, but hey.)
I love what Jodi said about when the CP comes into the game – and also why i love fast drafting – just getting it down seemed to help me.
Good luck!
Ok, I wrote a very thought, very encouraging post, but it didn’t stick – it was a masterpiece i tell you!
Anyway, you can do it – remember our mantra: this is my first manuscript, this is my first manuscript, this is. . . .
I think some of the stuff you’re saying is one of the reasons I like to fast draft. I’m not (as you know) a plotter and getting it all out of my head as quickly as possible works for me – I know you’ll find what works for you too!
Kaige, you and I must be kindred spirits! I manage to get about halfway through before thinking what in the hell is my problem?! Usually that is when my latest blog idea surfaces… and sometimes, that actually allows me to return to the realm of writing with fresh eyes. By the way, thanks for your kind words on my blog. You are too much, and I luv ya! *Squeeze*
One of the problems when you’re starting is that you focus so much on the technical part that you forget that you’re writing for the joy of it. Stop worrying about your story. Stop thinking what you want your characters to do. Instead, learn to listen to them. Hear what they have to say. Stop holding them back. Let them “go”, and learn to see what they want to do. Sit back and watch them interplay. Feel that joy of see them come to live.
Another thing, try not to over edit. It kills the joy of writing. It’s no longer fun to write, and instead it becomes a tedious exercise of putting a string of words in a sort of coherent way.
I had wanted to put up a new post today, but I never got to it. Too many real life intrusions.
Thanks for all the advice and virtual hand holding. I hate whining and I hate asking for help, so your assistance and reassurance is much appreciated.
I know I need to just sit and write for a bit, but I’m finding the ability to focus and do that hard. I’m trying to finish up the food critic story for the free read. I got DH to read it and we bounced some ideas around on it. I made progress on fixing the opening, but really I need to finish writing the middle and the end and see what happens.
I have 2 items on my todo list that MUST get done tomorrow, but after that I’m blocking out a big chunk of time to just write. Wish me luck!
I’m with you, Kaige. Same kind of issues going on here (realized by Miss MJ as well LOL!). So, this past week I’ve been trying to just sit down, write, and not look back, but…man, is that hard. You’d never know it by looking at my house :), but in many ways, I’m a perfectionist, too–that’s a really hard habit to break! Chin up, chica–we will eventually get through this! 🙂
Hugs!