Ruts Suck
I think my parents messed up when I was born. My middle name should have been ‘procrastination’ instead of what they wrote down on the form at the hospital.
Unfortunately, even knowing that the longer something is put off the harder it becomes to start doesn’t seem to prevent me from falling into those same ruts of routine. Thanks to Toni Sue for prompting me to look at this blog and question why I haven’t been giving it any attention for so long.
Have I run out of things to say? Nope. I just haven’t had the energy to pry them out of my head and plop them down on the page. Having my son out of school this year for 5 months really took its toll on me. It’s not a good excuse, and I wasn’t really looking for an excuse, but I can pinpoint when he started the independent study program as the point where my free time vanished.
Why I say I wasn’t looking for an excuse and that’s not a good one is that he went back to the traditional campus at the end of March. *flips through her calendar* Uh.. yeah… So… what have I been doing the past two months? A heckuva lot of nothing. Nothing meaningful anyway.
I’ve been stuck in a very passive rut. Barely reactive, forget proactive. What really sucks is that it’s not just writing that’s suffered, but pretty much everything. I’ve tried to keep up with a bare minimum of requirements, but honestly, there’s not much spark in anything right now.
Back at the beginning of May, I started working through The Weekend Novelist by Robert J. Ray and Bret Norris. This has been helpful in sneaking back up on writing, but it’s still feeling a bit more like a chore than fun. I suspect I may need to cut out all my passive entertainment during the day and just play around with my characters again for a while. Anything to get the wheels back on track and find a routine that works for me.
Am I insane for thinking this can work just as I switch gears from school year to summer vacation mode? We’ll see. Something’s gotta give.
Very brave of you to admit to falling victim to procrastination, and more importantly, realizing the reasons(s) behind it! Hope you (and I both) find our way out of the rut.
BTW, the road to productivity runs directly through Chatzy, I’ve heard
Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. One thing I’ve learned since becoming a writer is that the muse is a fickle little creature. I can be full of ideas and nearly bubbling over with ambition on one day, and the next will be the polar opposite. I’ve heard it is the same in most creative people. There is a season for everything. Just because it is Spring outside doesn’t mean it is inside. Relax and let it come back to you. As a writer, it will find you again.
Thanks, Sue. I’ve actually gotten pretty good at reading my internal weathervane and if it was just writing it’d be one thing because I know I tend to go through a cycle with it. It’s not a good sign when bills pile up on my desk (for some reason if they come in email it’s not a problem… in an envelope, forget it. Don’t wanna deal with it when I’m like this!) and I basically shut down except for consuming passive entertainment (definitely a form of escapism!).
I’ve actually been making decent progress with The Weekend Novelist, the Roses Colored Glasses loop is doing a “workgroup” on it and I figured I could at least commit to a weekend’s worth of work to get me going. Still in pre-writing stages, but I feel this project is more focused than ever before and I’m starting to think about using some of these tools/exercises to restart the project I had been working on.
I read a great quote this morning:
— Twitter rep’s 5 word acceptance speech at the 13th Webby’s.
Just awesome.
Love that quote! I’m glad you are coming out of your funk. I’ve been through those too. You went through some pretty major stuff with your kid, so its no wonder you got into a rut. Just put your nose to the grindstone, my friend 🙂