Say Anything

Don’t worry, I’m not going to wax nostalgic about an 80s movie here. But the title was fitting for how I’ve been thinking about this blog lately…

It doesn’t matter what I say in this post, it’s more a matter of a need to “say anything” at all. I just need to post something, and then do it again in a couple of days. Build and sustain momentum, but the longer I leave it, the harder that gets. Thanks to those of you who commented or have pestered me about why I haven’t been posting. I’ve been feeling the same way about my journal entries lately too. The first couple days I started writing stuff down for 20 minutes were painful. Not as painful as the 10 minutes I spent walking on Monday, but mentally painful. My brain didn’t want to focus or work the way I needed it to, but with practice, it gets easier each day. I just remind myself it doesn’t matter what I type, I just have to type something.

In the movie, Lloyd Dobler asks Constance, “Why can’t you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?” I wish I knew. November and December seem to be rough months for me. Not just this year, but to the point I wonder if there’s something about the shortening days that wears me down so much. I know it’s not just holiday stress, but it’s very hard for me to just wake up and decide to be in a good mood. Maybe I should have been born as an animal that hibernates — a bear or a squirrel.

In order to get back into routines that work for me instead of against me, I’m participating in the Accountability Corner with Bria and some other Divas on a separate blog. We’ve set up goals for the coming year and are cheering each other on and holding each other accountable. Like routines, the goals have to work for you too. I think I have better goals than last year’s, but I’m still worried about how measurable and specific they are and if they’ll get me moving in the direction I want.

I also joined GoodReads last year, and I managed to track about 75 books I read last year with it. I’m already tagging books I read this year as well. The next step is to get comments on them written down so I can go back and remember what I liked or disliked about certain books. Of course, getting our entire library up there would be a cool thing, too.

Now that I’ve started this, I’m getting ideas for things to write about, but I think I’ll save them for Saturday.

Wishing everyone the best in 2009!