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13 Reactions to Criticism
This entry might not be as entertaining as the previous ones, but it’s something I’ve had to think about as I put my first piece out there and asked for opinions. It was a terrifying experience to put myself in such a vulnerable position, but my desire to learn more and become better at this had to come first. I absolutely refuse to acknowledge which of the following, if any (oops I just admitted to the last few didn’t I? Oh, well.) that I’ve gone through with this or any other writing i’ve asked someone else to look over.
- 1. Take everything personally. They hated your writing, ergo they hate you.
- This one isn’t worth the time and energy it will take to maintain the grudge, the esclating tensions and figuring out how to get around the restraining orders. You’re better off putting your energy into something else for a while and coming back to it with fresh eyes to see why they didn’t like it.
- 2. Whine about how it’s perfect in your head and it won’t come out correctly on the page.
- This needs to be worked out between your inner artiste and your internal critic. They’re both fighting for control and you’re losing. Make them work for you, not against you. They each have their place in the process, send ’em back to their corners, bribing them with chocolate if necessary. No one likes whiners, Wendy.
- 3. React to each critique as if it were gospel.
- You need to know your story well enough to know what is useful and dead on. You are going to get different opinions and possibly contradictory ones from every reader. Some of the suggestions are going to be wrong for your work. Read everything, but think about it too and learn something from it.
- 4. Resist the urge to argue.
- Again, probably not the best use of everyone’s time and energy. Save the passion you feel and put it into the conflict between your characters.
- 5. Scrap everything you’ve done, they don’t get it.
- Sometimes this might be a valid response. However, it is probably an overreaction.
- 6. Everyone loved it so much that you run around the office burning bridges cause you’re gonna quit and write full-time.
- Woah! Just a bit premature there. You’re going to have to face all those cube dwellers again in the morning after reality smacks you upside the head. Prepare yourself for the inevitable question, “So, when ya gonna write a REAL book?”
- 7. Everyone loved it so much that you run out and hire an assistant and a publicist.
- Again, jumping the gun. Make sure you have the foundation necessary to support yourself before you are responsible for other people’s livelihoods.
- 8. Assume a lukewarm reaction means you suck at writing and you give up.
- There are forces outside your control, young grasshopper. It may have been a bad day for them to read it. It may not have been that particular person’s cup of tea. Put it away, leave it alone. Go do something else for a month or longer. Then, come back to it and see if you agree or can see why.
- 9. Obsess over every detail that was pointed out as a problem.
- Soon your dreams will be filled with demons chasing you, demanding that you sacrifice everything to them in order to make everything perfect. Either that or you shouldn’t have eaten that burrito so late. You need to evaluate WHY it was brought up as an issue, but obsessing isn’t usually required.
- 10. Abandon your writing in the name of studying the craft.
- Don’t get so bogged down in reading about what other people have to say about how it should be done that you lose sight of your own instincts. Take the time to practice what you’re learning. Writing exercises are not 100% mental. (Wouldn’t that be cool though — to have a direct brain to computer COM port? Just think and it appears on the page?) You should never stop learning, but I know I have to practice the theory to learn it and understand it.
- 11. You cannot base your self-esteem and self-confidence on a critique or review.
- We are more than our craft. If you put your work out there with the right mindset, you will be rewarded. If you go out asking for help and wanting to learn. I guarantee you, you will learn something. It may not be what you thought you wanted to learn, but it will be a valuable lesson.
- 12. Read everything more than once, but don’t obsess.
- The further you can get your mind from the work critiqued, the better. Hold on to everything and look back at it and the work both with fresh eyes. Take what makes sense and use it. Learn something from everything — even if it’s just how not to say something.
- 13. Learn, grow, expand, and keep going.
- When you put something out for criticism, you’re gonna get it. It may not be exactly what you’re looking for, but you’re gonna get it. Roll with the punches and learn more about your craft and your self in the process.
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I hate when people argue a criticism… Drives me mad. One poor lady, at a larger group critic session argued with EVERYONE! It wasn’t online, nor did she write romance, so I think I’m okay, here. After that first feedback session, I stopped reading her stuff. She really didn’t care what other people had to say about it. You can’t ask for feedback that bite the same hand that’s feeding you…
okay yeah, you got me on a touchy subject. It’s way more than thick skin, you know? If you think your work is perfect, don’t ask people to comment on it, right?! LOL I’ll stop now.
BTW, it’s no one I know now. 🙂
Nicely played…lots of good ones in there…and some entertaining ones, too! hahaha
Number 11 should be a frikkin’ mantra for life! So many people take criticism from someone and make it about who they are.
Sigh.
Great advice!
Hi Kaige! What a great list. That’s some wonderful advice and I think I just might print it out and go back over it when I need it!:)
Take it all with a grain of salt – good thoughts here!
“You are wise. And yet, there is a sadness to your wisdom…”
Great list!
I’ve found that a really good critique will spark my own creative thinking, and my wheels will start turning and I wind up not arguing so much as asking questions to get a deeper answer. “WHY don’t you buy that Jake did this? What if he did that? Would that make more sense?”
The purpose of a critique is to make your piece better, right? Why stay silent and take that, when there’s more information that you need?
Happy TT! And keep on opening your work up for critique; you’ll learn a lot (including how to spot an idiot at 20 feet).
What a great list!
*hugs*
Paige
My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/
I’ve been writing for a while now and critiques still scare me half to death. It doesn’t matter if it’s from other writers, readers, editors or someone else. No getting away from it – when writing a book you put your heart out there. It’s a scary thing!
OMG! This is fabulous, Kaige. They should put this up at Divas and sticky it.
So many great suggestions.
Great list, Kaige! I think I’ve got the most problems with ‘8, 9, and 11. *sigh* I almost die every time I send something off to my agent or editor.
My thought process on receiving feedback is always like this:
“Ho, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
followed shortly by
“Wait…”
followed inevitably by
“Shit. She’s right.”
Even if it’s not gospel, which no feedback ever it, I find that the process of seeing it through other eyes always opens it up to question. Can this be better? Good luck!
And thx for stopping by with congrats. I appreciate it!
I’m more of a #12 and #13. Then again, it depends on who’s doing the critiquing. 🙂
Excellent T13, kaige!
This is getting posted on the wall by my writing chair! I think you’ve created the “gospel” for critique.
My pet peeve is also those who ask for critique and then proceed to tell you why you are wrong. Even when one doesn’t particularly agree with a critique I think the best response is “thank you, I’ll take a look at that.”
Good post.
You can always learn something from a criticism. But I agree with you, not everyone is able to take criticism well. Lots of great points. 🙂
Very entertaining indeed!
Ha! Good points to keep in mind. 🙂
Why do I get the feeling you’ve been in the thick of it for both giving and getting crits? 😀 Excellent list.
Oh. My. Goodness. I never expected such a response to this post.
Alice, you certainly have me confused with someone else. I’ve been hanging out with the creative types since college. I’ve also watched DH go through numerous workshop settings so it’s mostly vicarious wisdom at this point.
As I said, with posting my first offering for critique and hell, just letting DH read my stuff, I’ve been thinking about how to deal with it.
I was really touched by everyone’s comments today! Divas rawk for boosting your confidence and esteem! You rock too, Kimberley! *tosses a cream puff*
Excellent list. Learning to take criticism is a challenge, but a hurdle that MUST be crossed if you’re really going to play this game.