Thursday Thirteen: Loving Ways

ByKristen Koster
I’ve been reading Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by Dr. John Gray lately. The metaphor is absurd, but the logic and insights behind it are sound. I picked it up on a whim to see some concrete examples of the different ways that men and women communicate and react to emotional intimacy — very cool book in that respect. I’ve already gotten several ideas on how to improve the conflict between characters and various ideas on how to better show the growing romance between a hero and a heroine and some of the obstacles they may be setting up for themselves.

 

13 Ways to Show and Need Love

We think of these as ways that women show love, but they are also the ways in which they feel and recognize that they are loved. A woman’s ability to love is recharged when she feels these needs are being met.

1. Caring
2. Understanding
3. Respect
4. Devotion
5. Validation
6. Reassurance

Men recognize love when they are on the receiving end of these types of affection.

7. Trust
8. Acceptance
9. Appreciation
10. Admiration
11. Approval
12. Encouragement

13. Hot Monkey (more than ’nuff said)
What? You didn’t think I would/could be completely serious did you?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1 Lorelei James 2 Ava Rose Johnson 3 R.G. Alexander 4 Amelia June
5 Gina Ardito 6 Cassandra Curtis 7 Jane E. Jones 8 Savannah Chase
9 Susan Helene Gottfried 10 Kelly McCrady 11 Alice Audrey 12 DD Mills
13 vixen 14 Sandra Schwab 15 Morgan St. John 16 Carrie Lofty
17 Unusual Historicals 18 Jennifer McKenzie 19 frustrated writer 20

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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25 Comments

  9. Hm… I must be half men then because I recognize love when given trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement. Especially the latter. *g*

    Now he can get a hot monkey if I get a hot spanky. *winks*

  13. Hey, Kaige! Thanks for stopping by — I think it’s neat that you’re reading Men are from Mars (which is why I’m from *west* of Mars, don’tcha know) for your characters. What a cool idea!

    Happy TT!

  15. I do this too–read relationship-help books to deepen characterization and conflict. My faves are Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s books “10 Stupid Things (Men or Women) Do to Mess Up Their Lives” and “How Could You Do That? The Abdication of Character, Courage, and Conscience.” It really helps when you’re stuck for good conflict between characters. I tend to be a “fixer” and reduce conflict, so this is the hardest part of writing for me LOL.

  18. Happy TT. Thanks for stopping by. I may have to check out this book, sounds very interesting.

  19. Great list, Kaige. Perhaps I ought to check out Gray’s book after all. 🙂

    Thanks for visiting my TT13, btw. Isn’t The Wastrel the cutest book? I’m glad to hear you’ve enjoyed it, too!

    Best wishes from Germany!

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  25. hmm, interesting list and since I’ve read multiple relationship books I think you are right in that you can’t put people in boxes since each person is different. For some guys, the list would be seven entries of hot monkey… others it might only be one entry of trust. great TT

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